Friday, May 22, 2015

Why I've been absent. Trigger warning: Fire

I've been struggling on whether to post this or not after being asked if I've stopped blogging quite a few times, and I've decided to go ahead with it. I know I'm not one of the best bloggers... I'm definitely not one who can sit down and review and write a post every week or two weeks like clockwork. I like to sit down, write a detailed list of why I like it or why I didn't like it, take photos of before and after and most things I use are skin care items. I like to use those for at *least* a month before writing them unless I see such amazing results that I just can't hold back from shouting it to the world. Also, I'm fairly good at translating but I like to send my things off to my friend and have her double check my work. Although, her telling me google was correct in saying that 향료 was actually spices was kind of mean >_> (It means fragrance).

But, something happened a few months ago that drastically changed everything and has put a definite hold on blogging, at least a little while anyways. Links to photos are in bold. Fair warning as they might be graphic to some.

March 14, 2015 my studio apartment caught on fire and I lost almost everything I owned aside (luckily) from my clothes. I lost my four pets - I went in to try and save my baby rats and I remember it was just so dark inside and I could barely breathe. I had to run outside twice before I made it to them. They didn't make it. I lost all of my inheritance kitchenware (my grandfather had silver with our family last name initialed on the pieces. It sounds shallow, but they're the only things I had left of my dad or my grandpa.) when the smoke damage was just too much and etched into the silver. Also, other kitchen items melted on top of them, Restoring them was just too great of a cost and I had to throw them away. Also, I lost my home. My home of four years. My everything.

My cosmetics I put on a table that was near the kitchen (in a studio, everything is near something!) and they were either scorched, burnt or were so covered in soot that they were impossible to use. I had to throw everything away as I was afraid to even touch a lot of things to my face.

I had to quit my job and move to a different state as my SO and I had no other place to go. This was so drastic and sudden that I didn't even know what was going on. I still don't know what's going on. I'll still wake up from nightmares where I'm trapped inside and can't get out and they haunt me for days.

I'm not trying to make this a sob story or to remind people to replace their smoke batteries (although you should!), I just want people to understand why I've been absent and may continue to be absent for a while. Please bare with me for a bit longer and I'll try to come back full force. I still post random tidbits on Instagram some times. I'm trying~

I just need to heal :)